How to Heal From What You Never Got to Say: Finding Freedom Without Closure
A Letter to the Woman Still Carrying Silence
Hey Sis,
I don’t know what brought you here, but I know what it feels like to carry unspoken pain.
The kind you tuck in deep because nobody would believe you.
The kind you swallow because you learned early that your voice wasn’t safe.
The kind that made you feel like silence was your only way to survive.
I know because that was me…
I was molested before I ever knew what love meant.
I was exposed to pornography before I knew what innocence was.
My mama left. My daddy didn’t want me.
And the man who raised me — though he wasn’t blood — gave me the only real glimpse of love I had. Even if it was imperfect, it was intentional. Even if he didn’t have the words, he showed up with presence.
But it still wasn’t enough to patch all the places that broke inside of me before I ever had the language to explain it.
Homeless at 13, bouncing from house to house, pain to pain.
And by 15, I had a baby in my arms from abuse I didn’t ask for, couldn’t fight off, and never had protection.
Do you know what that does to a girl?
I didn’t get a prom dress.
I got a foster bed.
I didn’t get to dream — I had to survive.
And while everybody else got to choose their future,
mine was forced on me.
And yet... no one ever asked me how I felt.
They just looked at me — like I was the problem.
Like my silence meant guilt, when in reality... my silence was protection.
But holding it in all those years didn’t heal me —
It started to destroy me.
And I came here to tell you something I wish someone told me:
You are not invisible. You are not crazy.
And you are not disqualified from healing just because nobody ever said “I’m sorry.”
Because Some Pain Doesn’t Have a Tombstone
There are no funerals for the things you had to bury alive.
You never got to:
Speak the truth about what broke you
Ask why no one stood up for you when it mattered most
Confront the betrayal they told you to “just get over”
Mourn the version of you who never got to feel safe
Say goodbye to the future you dreamed of before the pain rewrote your story
Wonder if anyone even saw you hurting
And now you’re left carrying a grief no one gave you permission to name.
But Sis — just because it wasn’t acknowledged,
doesn’t mean it wasn’t real.
So, What Do You Do With All That Silence?
You bring it to the only One who never left.
God doesn’t need their apology to start your healing.
He just needs your honesty.
But maybe you’re stuck at the part no one talks about:
What if you’re mad at God for letting this happen?
Whew! listen this hits home.
What if you prayed and nothing changed?
What if your faith cracked under the weight of what He allowed?
What if trusting Him feels like betrayal to your own pain?
Let’s be clear — God can handle your heartbreak and your honesty.
You don’t have to hide your disappointment to stay in His presence.
He’s not intimidated by your silence, your anger, or your questions.
He’s still the safest place for them.
And if you're ready, here's how you start:
💔 A Way Forward (Even Without Closure)
1. Tell God the Ugly Truth
No filters. No pretending. No "churchy" language.
Just you, the real you, the raw you, the wounded you.
Tell Him what you wish you could’ve said.
Cry the tears you were never allowed to cry.
God can handle the words that were too heavy to say out loud — because He already saw it.
2. Write What You Never Got to Say
Not to them.
But for you.
Write the letter.
To your mother. To your father. To your cousin.
To that version of you who was just a girl — carrying a pain that wasn’t hers.
Write it because healing doesn’t always come through hearing back.
Sometimes it comes through letting go.
3. Let Go of the Need for Closure
Closure is not always a phone call.
Sometimes, it’s a funeral in your spirit for the version of you that deserved better —
and a resurrection for the woman God is raising up now.
You are not waiting on them.
God is waiting on you.
Before You Go
Sis, I need you to hear me — not as a blogger, but as a woman who’s lived through hell and still decided to heal anyway. Because the unhealed version of you is causing more harm than you know.
You are not the things they never let you say.
You are not the abandonment.
You are not the silence.
You are not the shame.
You are seen.
You are held.
And you are worthy of healing.
And even if they never say “I’m sorry”…
God already heard your cry.
And He’s already moving toward your restoration.
Let this blog be the beginning of your Unmuted healing.
Trust me if God can deliver me, he certainly didn’t forget about you.
Take time with God.
Meditate on theses Scriptures:
Psalm 34:18 (NIV)
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
You don’t have to pretend to be okay. This verse reminds you that God draws near to the place where it hurts the most — not after you heal, but in the breaking. That’s where He meets you.
Habakkuk 3:17–18 (NLT)
Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines;
even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren...
yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation.This verse is telling us that faith isn't proven in the harvest — it's proven in the drought. Even when everything around us looks barren, broken, or unfulfilled, we are called to rejoice not in the outcome, but in the character of God. Habakkuk shows us that joy isn’t rooted in circumstances, but in trust — in knowing that God is still worthy, still faithful, and still our salvation, even when nothing seems to be working. This is radical, unshakable worship.
Free Healing Tool: “Write What You Never Got to Say”
sign up below and receive your free healing letter template I created just for you —
Not just to write it out, but to release it.
Sis, it’s time to start living Out Loud. The enemy’s had enough time — and now, his time is up.
